so many updates!

Well guys, for the first time in the history of my many, many, many blogging endeavors -- I can finally say the reason that I haven't updated is TRULY because I've been BUSY. AS. SHIT.

Not a joke.

In June I auditioned for an 8-week talent show judged by hyper-intelligent apes from the future. The show is called Impress These Apes.

I was lucky enough to be one of 16 semi-finalists invited back for the Live Callback Show on July 7th.

My challenge was hip hop dancing, in case you were curious. And I worked for two full weeks trying to hone my routine to as close as perfection as someone who has no rhythm or control of her arms could.

The hard word paid off as I became one of the 8 contestants for Season 8 of Impress These Apes!

We're just entering week 5 now and I'll tell you what: It is equal parts exhilariating...and exhausting. I have never been so creatively challenged and pushed in my life. I'm losing sleep. Losing my mind. And I cry weekly. But seriously...I LOVE IT.

Because I'm also becoming fearless in my creativity. And I'm making new things every single weeks. Things I've never even thought of attempting before! For example, this upcoming Monday the challenge is to perform 5 minutes of original standup material --- while being heckled ruthlessly.

1.) I have never performed standup but I've always wanted to try. Now? I HAVE NO CHOICE.
2.) I'm intrigued at the thought of fending off a heckler. What will I do? How will I respond? Even I don't know and that's scary and awesome.

Scary awesome. 

Anyways, if you're interested in what you might have missed up until now, you can see everyone's work and scores by visiting www.impresstheseapes.com.

If you are interested in my work specifically (although I really mean it when I say this cast is talented as balls and you should check out EVERYONE!), you can find it nicely organized here: http://impresstheseapes.com/category/the-contestants/tiff/

You can also follow along through the rest of the competition. The show is every Monday at 8pm, ComedySportz Theater, 929 W. Belmont. Tickets are $12.

You can also stream it live from impresstheseapes.com on Monday nights!

So for the past 5 weeks, that's where I've been. Well there's a little more actually...

I met a boy, bitches!

Yeah, that's right. In June, after a year-plus-long (self-imposed, for the most part) sabbatical from dating,  I met a boy.

For the purposes of anonymity, we'll henceforth just refer to him as The Actor (Because he's an actor. See what I did there?)

Our first date was getting cupcakes at 11pm on a Saturday -- which was sign #2 that I've likely hit the jackpot when it comes to meeting a quality human being to spend time with. (So far this has been right.)

Sign #1 was that he liked both the US and UK versions of The Office "for different reasons."

Good man.

He makes me laugh, he's fun and interesting, he's handsome and also he has encouraged me through all these weeks of Apes so far (and I mean it when I say I've cried at least once every. single. week.), and has been more supportive than I could have even asked for. Not just with Apes, but with everything.

Let's not get too sappy here, though. This is FLAD for crissakes.

But he gives me bubbles in my guts...and they are certainly not gas. So I'm happy. I'm really happy.

I'll update again soon. Certainly after Apes --- because I feel like I'll be doing a lot more with comedy and performing when the competition ends.

So duh, there will be interesting, ridiculous things to write about!

Aren't YOU excited?

Talks with my Twenties: March 16, 2005 - Age 24

Vacation
3/16/2005
 Well, I just got done working out and picking up my paycheck from the Writing Center. Now I'm going to go to the bank, go home, do laundry and get CLEAN. I think I probably reek. I was sweatin like a hog. But hey, no pain no gain....right?

I head to Valpo later to pick up my driver's license which I accidentally left with a friend, then, it's off to karaoke to party with my friends. I'm not sure my body or psyche can handle the next 4 days of staying out until the sun rises, but I sure as hell am gonna try!

Besides, it's cold outside, so I can sleep during the day. What else? Hmmmm...... I don't really know, I guess I'm done writing for now.

Hold it right there, missy.

“I head to Valpo later to pick up my driver’s license which I accidentally left with a friend…”

A friend?

Would a friend get drunk to the point that when you let him know you were leaving to spend time with one of your girlfriends, he got incredibly jealous, verbally abusive, and forcefully swung open the door to his apartment and threw you out—making you so scared that you forgot your purse entirely (hence accidentally leaving your license)?

No, that is not a friend. 

And I wish I could go back in time, hug you and say, "Tiff, you don't have to call that guy your friend. You don't have to call him anything. As a matter of fact, you never need to think about or interact with a guy like that again if it doesn't feel okay. That is not acceptable behavior."

I think you knew it, but you weren't strong enough to set up that boundary yet. And that's okay.

Truth be told, it takes you years. And even now you sometimes find sticking to your boundaries challenging. But you've definitely gotten a lot better about it. 

As for staying out until the sun rises on your vacation – good for you, young Tiff. That’s a rarity these days, so I’m glad you got to experience it when you did.

But trust me, you’re okay with this…because now there are these amazing ways to spend your evenings in called “Netflix” and “Hulu Plus…”

Weekend nights start like this…

…and end like this.

P.S. Kudos on going to the gym. You tend to go in waves. Currently you're on the "I'm just waiting until it's not 400 degrees below zero before I hit the gym again" wave.  

And that's cool. 

A Quick Note of Gratitude

Don't worry, my 24-year-old-blog spewings will return shortly, but I felt like I needed to take a moment to thank, well, everyone.

Going through my old blogs (and I've read almost all of them just to see what I'm getting myself into in upcoming posts) I realized the truth of what many people have said about social media outlets:

People tend to post things that make themselves and everything in their lives look great.

Life events, accomplishments, amazing food that they're eating, check-ins to rad places, etc. You know what I'm talking about.

Makin' everything seem like...

Of course, no one wants to read posts about how bad things are all the time either.

"Ugh. My toothpaste fell off the brush onto the counter, and then I forgot my lunch, and then the bus smelled like piss, and also I'm still single, and the sun is mocking my misery, and why are my friends so happy, and…"

I think there's a fine line between being honest in social media and being too positive or too negative---which based on my MySpace entries and my Facebook posts over the years, I am guilty of BOTH.

But I've been trying to post honestly. To highlight the good, the average, the normal, and sometimes to include the not-so-great. Because the truth is, everyone is dealing with something at some point, and it's really important to keep that in mind.

We all have our victories and our battles. That's human nature. And sometimes it's hard to remember that.

Anyways, the reason I'm telling you all of this is not to incorporate gifs or talk social media -- it's because last night I posted on my Facebook page the following status update:

"Not gonna try to hide it: feeling a little blue tonight. Life is good, but sometimes you still get sad. That's just part of it."

This wasn't a cry for help. It wasn't a post in order to garner attention or a response.

In all honesty, I felt like it was important to be vulnerable and let my friends know that, Hey guys, this weekend I posted a lot of really fun stuff; it looks like I'm always happy all the time. But the truth is, tonight I'm blue. Nothing major, it's just the way life goes. But, you know… it's not all cooking in fun aprons, cuddling with GC, and movie nights. 

What happened next blew my ever-loving mind (and led to me writing this post).

Within minutes, friends were reaching out in various ways just to let me know I was loved. Simple as that. Making me laugh with texts and messages and empathizing.

It was beautiful. And although I was blue, knowing that I wasn't alone and being reminded that the people in my life are absolutely amazing made it much, much easier to fall asleep last night.

And more importantly, to remember to be incredibly grateful.

And also to make sure I pay close attention to the people in my life in case they need a text or a hug or a laugh.

So, everyone, thank you. I am a really lucky lady, and better---so much better---for knowing all of you.

Next time I see any of you lovely idiots, this.