A Quick Note of Gratitude

Don't worry, my 24-year-old-blog spewings will return shortly, but I felt like I needed to take a moment to thank, well, everyone.

Going through my old blogs (and I've read almost all of them just to see what I'm getting myself into in upcoming posts) I realized the truth of what many people have said about social media outlets:

People tend to post things that make themselves and everything in their lives look great.

Life events, accomplishments, amazing food that they're eating, check-ins to rad places, etc. You know what I'm talking about.

Makin' everything seem like...

Of course, no one wants to read posts about how bad things are all the time either.

"Ugh. My toothpaste fell off the brush onto the counter, and then I forgot my lunch, and then the bus smelled like piss, and also I'm still single, and the sun is mocking my misery, and why are my friends so happy, and…"

I think there's a fine line between being honest in social media and being too positive or too negative---which based on my MySpace entries and my Facebook posts over the years, I am guilty of BOTH.

But I've been trying to post honestly. To highlight the good, the average, the normal, and sometimes to include the not-so-great. Because the truth is, everyone is dealing with something at some point, and it's really important to keep that in mind.

We all have our victories and our battles. That's human nature. And sometimes it's hard to remember that.

Anyways, the reason I'm telling you all of this is not to incorporate gifs or talk social media -- it's because last night I posted on my Facebook page the following status update:

"Not gonna try to hide it: feeling a little blue tonight. Life is good, but sometimes you still get sad. That's just part of it."

This wasn't a cry for help. It wasn't a post in order to garner attention or a response.

In all honesty, I felt like it was important to be vulnerable and let my friends know that, Hey guys, this weekend I posted a lot of really fun stuff; it looks like I'm always happy all the time. But the truth is, tonight I'm blue. Nothing major, it's just the way life goes. But, you know… it's not all cooking in fun aprons, cuddling with GC, and movie nights. 

What happened next blew my ever-loving mind (and led to me writing this post).

Within minutes, friends were reaching out in various ways just to let me know I was loved. Simple as that. Making me laugh with texts and messages and empathizing.

It was beautiful. And although I was blue, knowing that I wasn't alone and being reminded that the people in my life are absolutely amazing made it much, much easier to fall asleep last night.

And more importantly, to remember to be incredibly grateful.

And also to make sure I pay close attention to the people in my life in case they need a text or a hug or a laugh.

So, everyone, thank you. I am a really lucky lady, and better---so much better---for knowing all of you.

Next time I see any of you lovely idiots, this. 

Talks with My Twenties: March 15, 2005 (post #3) - Age 24

Subject: Males

I will never understand them. I don't hate them, one bad apple shouldn't spoil the bunch....but how is it that I get 3 rotten ones on [sic] a row? *lol* I think I'm going to vomit.

First of all, me, THREE posts in one day?! About nothing?

At 24, you had the Seinfeld of blogs, Tiff. 

Anyhow, you are so cute. 24 and upset that your last 3 relationships were with rotten dudes. (And actually, if you're referring to your ex-husband, give it some time. You guys actually become friends. I know...you never saw that one coming, did ya?)

I don't even know who the third rotten one is. That is how insignificant that guy became.

But most importantly, the second guy you're referring to? The one you thought you'd never live without? Guess what?

You are living without him just fine. 

You barely ever think about him. Those thoughts stopped sometime in 2006. Now every once and a while he crosses your mind, but it's just another memory.

No different than the memory of that day in kindergarten when you were absolutely terrified of those hermit crabs that some twisted, 5-year-old monster brought in for show-and-tell.

Actually, that memory causes more strife than thinking about good ol' Mr. "I Once Taped a Razor to a Stick So I Could Shave My Back." (#truth)

What I am saying though is, the memory of that guy and the relationship doesn't carry all that weight forever. You get over it.  And that's a beautiful thing.



You still don't understand men, though. You have a better grasp...but I don't think they'll ever stop being mind-boggling.

All we know about that at 33 is:

Maybe 43-year-old Tiff will have some insight on that one.

Love,
33-year-old Tiff

Talks with My Twenties: March 15, 2005 (post #2) - Age 24

Subject: This was neat-o
Posted Date3/15/2005 3:49:00 PM

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	friendly
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	heart warming
Your smell is...	exotic
Your smile is...	hypnotising
Your love is...	unique
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Dear 24-year-old Tiffany:

…dafuck is this shit?

Let me get this straight…

…you decided to post the results of a random generator that assigns attributes to things like your kisses, your hugs, your SMELL (?!?!)

...as an entire blog post?

Oh. Girl.





Meh. I'll be truthful here: Even at 33 you can't help but take the occasional "Which New Girl Character Are You?" quiz on BuzzFeed (You're Jess, btw. Duh.)

BUT YOU DO NOT BLOG ABOUT IT.

You post it on Facebook. Like a goddamned grownup.

(Don't worry. You think your MySpace addiction gets bad? Wait until you get to really know Facebook in 2007…)

Love,
33-year-old Tiff.

Talks with My Twenties: March 15, 2005 - Age 24

The Ides of March

Well well well....it has offically [sic] been three years since my friend Chester Copperpot [name changed to protect the not-so innocent] and I got into some Spring Break trouble in good ol' Bedford, Indiana. 

Yes, a road trip, alcohol, male dancers, a strip club, a DUI and jail...luckily I was spared the humiliation of the latter two elements. 

But hey, you only live once right? Besides, the ONE WAY sign wasn't posted, otherwise we'd have made it back to the hotel with at least half of our dignity in tact. 

Ah, to be 21 and carefree again. Anyhow, I was just reminiscing. Now, three years later, I look back on this and am proud to have a story like this to tell. Not that I'd wanna live through it again, but hey, hindsight is 20/20. 

This week I'm on Spring Break from school and have vacation from work. I figure, if I stay away from the male dancers and away from small towns like Bedford, it'll be aiight.

-Tiff 

Dear 24-year-old Tiff,

Um...

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

How am I still alive right now?

First of all, the balls you had to so very casually PUT OUT TO THE ENTIRE WORLD that time you and Copperpot got drunk, went to see some male dancers, followed by joining them at a regular strip club next door.

And, oh...you know…then your friend got a DUI and SPENT THE NIGHT IN JAIL…hahaha…no big deal.

Second: "Ah to be 21 and carefree again."

Ah yes, to be completely irresponsible. And then to spend the 5-hour, shame-filled drive home,  terrified, exhausted, and crying with your friend while stress-eating Cheetos and rubbing cheese dust onto the seat of the car. 

Dear, sweet, Tiff...you were only 24. I PROMISE you, you are still carefree at this point. And you'll be carefree until about 32. 

After that you start getting a little...ugh...more responsible when it comes to things like getting a restful night's sleep, sticking to your budget, and taking vitamins.

(Okay…so you will very drunkenly (and loudly) suggest going camping at 2am at your 33rd birthday party. Your friends laugh and take you to karaoke instead. You have fun for 5 minutes, but then you wine-cry and go home---because in your 30's, too much wine makes you emotional…no matter what. And basically any amount of wine gives you a hangover migraine the next day. But I digress…)

You will not, however, do anything like you did over Spring Break 2001 ever again. 

Thank god. 

Don't worry. There's still a lot of fun on the horizon. You don't even KNOW, girl. You don't. even. know. 



But  you're right. I still love having that story. 

Although, you did forget to mention that you pissed off some female strippers because you ended up on their stage, just laying there, laughing like a drunk hyena -- and one of the male dancers gave you a dollar. And then you fell out of your bar stool. 

Well, slid out in slow motion, really. The picture of elegance and grace. 

Oh and that you had to use the Dial-a-Ride half-bus, filled with locals who were going to the laundromat, in order to pick your car up from the impound lot. 

And then there was that preacher at the jail who saw you and thought you could REALLY use a bible right then and there.




That reminds me, you should know: you become a lot more honest about things as you get older...

Love,
33-year-old Tiff 

Talks With My Twenties: January 4, 2005 - Age 24

Blog....eh..... 

Okay, so I'm new to this MySpace thing...I think my profile sucks *lol* Anyhow, just got finished running...need water...be back later...Love, -Tiff

"New to this MySpace thing"

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Love,
33-year-old Tiff

Talks with My Twenties: December 26, 2004 - Age: 24

It's been a while

So I signed up for this thing a looooooooong time ago and never really used it. But then I got bored and remembered it was here, so here I am. I really have nothing to write. My holidays were as dysfunctional as ever. Yippee. I dunno. Maybe I'll think of something more interesting to write about later. Let's hope, eh?

Not much to this post. What a rousing start, right?

Here's what I can tell you: I had just turned 24 this October. My boyfriend at the time was out of town celebrating the holidays in California with his family.

I'm sure what I meant by "dysfunctional" was "Boo hoo. My boyfriend is away AND IT'S CHRISTMAS."

Little did I know the relationship would be ending about a month later, just after our 2-year anniversary, because he would be getting a job in LA.

And I would think my life was over.

I think in this post I was hoping to draw some attention because I was bored and also thinking that perhaps the "something more interesting to write about later" would be an engagement ring.

Oh...dear, sweet, cloud-headed, 24-year-old Tiff...an engagement ring? Really?  At this point, your divorce was JUST finalized, dude. Trust me, I thank my lucky stars every day that you did not marry this guy.  Believe me...you have a ton of things coming up that you would have missed if that were the case.

Something more interesting to write about later? Um..yeah. You definitely will. And it's all better than an engagement ring.

Love,
33-year old Tiff

P.S. There was no engagement ring. Instead, he came back with lingerie that was 2 sizes too small (this was a regular occurrence with him. The guy bought me pleather lingerie FOR MOTHER'S DAY 2003), and a weird jean jacket coat lined with fake beaver fur.

P.P.S. I know this post was lackluster. Give it time. In the summer of 2005, I'm a little out of control. And I date a lot. And I talk about that dating a lot a lot. And I have no idea what I'm doing. 

Talks with My Twenties: A New Blog Project

So, it's no surprise that it's been quite a while since I've posted in FLAD - which initially was created in order for me to deal with a shiny, new breakup.

Well folks, it's been 8 months...which is about half as long as the relationship lasted and so, according to my mom's very sound theory, it's exactly the amount of time it takes to recover from heartbreak.

That's right, take the amount of time you spent with Mr. or Ms. wrong, divide it in half, and then you'll be able to successfully calculate how much time you have to gorge yourself on pints of ice cream and cry into your pillow with the excuse, "BUT I AM DEALING WITH HEARTBREAK! Feelings...are only made...to be EATEN. And the only pants that I want in my life ARE MADE OF FLANNEL AND FOR SLEEPING. My face is covered in mascara and I'm fucking LEAVING IT!"

Truth be told, I've been feeling fine since about September, when the shock of the whole thing diminished greatly and I found myself two months into living in my cozy, new apartment, making new friends and reconnecting with old ones, and celebrating the awesomeness of life in general.

This is how I celebrate.
This is also how I start my mornings.

So at this point it's safe to say, I'm not only over it but I'm really into living life to the fullest in general.

So if there's no post-breakup healing to be done anymore,  what does that mean for FLAD?

Well...sometimes life gives you lemons...and you made lemonade...

...and THEN you happened to find a bottle of vodka in your cabinet.

What I'm saying is, I found a collection of ALL OF MY MYSPACE BLOGS FROM 2005 - 2008.

!!!

Glory!

That's right. My mid-twenties laid out in my own words and experiences. And it is glorious. And embarrassing. And also kind of heartbreaking. But mostly glorious.

So I've decided to dedicate my postings on FLAD to a new project: Talks with My Twenties.

 I'll be posting an old blog excerpt of mine from those MySpace gems, and then provide commentary based on what's happened since.

 It's like a time machine. It's a moment for me to go back and see myself at 24, 25, 26, and 27 and not only understand that version of myself in a new way, but understand who I am today in a new light as well.

It's also a moment for you to laugh at whatever this experiment may bring. 

It's going to be about acceptance, and hilarity, and the false thinking that we obviously know everything there is to know about life, and honesty. Brutal, hilarious, honesty.

And guys? I'm RULL excited about it.

Bookmark this blog, bitches. It's gonna be a rollercoaster of sidesplitting nonsense that you DO NOT want to miss.

And also some terrible poetry.

Love,
Tiff

Remember that time I spent my Christmas Eve playing a drinking game?

No?

Okay then, here's a reminder: