Sunday Special Series: Talks with My Teenage Years #2 - November 29, 1994 - Age 14

[Crush] was back! He got a haircut and [good friend] said he looked like [some other boy in class]! I don't think so, but they wore almost the same shirt today! 

Too bad I don't know if [crush] likes me! He's so sweet! I don't have him in any of my classes but he looks at me in the hall! Anyway, today was [another good friend's] birthday, it was [also someone else's] too!
Will a boy ever like me? They haven't yet! This is so crazy! Guys are so weird! 

[Another guy from my class] was flirting with me today. I know he doesn't like me because he flirts with everyone! I wouldn't go out with him because it would upset [good friend]. 

Well. Isn't this is just adorable.

Fact: I was boy-crazy as hell from the time I was 5 until about...my late 20s. (And maybe even now...a little? Yeah...sure. But certainly not as much.)

Will a boy ever like you, 14-year-old Tiff? Of course they will. Plenty of boys will like you.

And still, plenty won't.

I'm looking at you, Ryan Gosling...

But that's all okay.

The most important thing is that one day, eventually, you'll like you enough to not really care whether or not guys (or anyone else for that matter) like you. And you'll be grateful...because it is glorious.

But for FLAD's sake I'm grateful that your entire high school diary is pretty much dedicated to your adorable boy-craziness.

I'm, however, having a hard time figuring out how I'm going to post the 20+ pages of doodled heart drawings you made during your first phone conversation with your first boyfriend ever...

Yyyyep. You actually did that. 

Sunday Special Series: Talks with My Teenage Years #1

So, I also have my high school diary on hand.

I've decided that because there are far less entries in it compared to my MySpace blogs, I'm going to make Sundays special by posting from that diary.

Here we go.

November 28, 1994

Well, today was kinda bad because [guy I had a crush on] wasn't in school today and I missed seeing him. I really like him. Does he like me? I don't know.

But anyway, someone said that I was thin, and then some boy said that that was disgusting. Oh great! Now I'm disgusting. Sometimes I get mad! No boys have ever liked me and I"m already 14!

Freshman year stinks! Well at least this part. Oh well. [Girl Friend] and I are really good friends now. I hope she stays that way.




I can't be sarcastic with 14-year-old Tiff. Mainly because she just didn't know any better.

Girl, I know it seems like being 14 and not having had a boyfriend yet is a bad deal, but I wish that instead you could have appreciated the time you didn't spend worrying about relationships.

They were so fun. You were so free. And goofy. And incredible. And no boyfriend in the world -- especially at that age -- could compare to that.

And you know what? Fuck that person who said being thin was disgusting. What the hell did they know anyways? You're not that thin anymore, but you know what? You are starting to be more comfortable in your skin regardless of what size you are and THAT is what's important.

I am so sorry I wasn't able to go back in time and explain that to you. It would have saved you a lot of needless worrying over how you thought you looked and who you thought you were supposed to be -- when just being you was absolutely good enough.

You were beautiful, 14-year-old Tiff. You were silly and fun and beautiful. (You still are, by the way. Even though some days you still don't believe it. It's a process...)

And that guy you were crushing on? Don't worry about him. At some point he realizes how great you are but it's too late and you've long sinced move on by then.

And you laugh about it.

I wish I could have told you to stop worrying and to just enjoy the ride---but I guess that's what all teenagers have to eventually learn on their own, right?

Love,
33-year-old Tiff